light a fire (in me)
by ssuppositiouss
Summary: Avatar AU. The Avatar has to make sacrifices and master the elements to keep the nations safe from the unknown. The Avatar's brother just wants to get through his time in the palace without making his brother's bending teacher, Prince Axel of the Fire Nation, think he's an idiot.
1. start it up

Roxas is told to wear his finest clothes even though he isn't going to be presenting himself to the Fire Lord as Sora will be. The Avatar's brother can't make the Northern Water Tribe look like heathens. The Avatar's brother can't damage the potential power that could come from training with the Fire Lord's own son. He's heard it all. Roxas rolls his eyes at the thought, tugs on the sleeves of his jacket, pulls at a loose thread. The Fire Nation palace is so much warmer than expected, and he's sweating through the layers of his clothes, which were fairly light to begin with.

Sora sends him an encouraging smile—"The blue of your tunic really brings out the color of your eyes!" he exclaimed, as though his eyes and outfit aren't also blue, but Roxas had smiled anyway, because you can't _not_ smile when Sora's smiling—though he is forced to stand still with his mentors and tutors all gathered around him. Roxas stands outside of this semicircle, behind everyone so he is unseen, but still under the watchful gaze of one of the nicer bending masters.

(He is there to satisfy his own curiosity, really. He is allowed only because Sora wants him there, but he went because his fingers itch to know what it means to be in control, his body aches to move as the benders move. And Sora relates to that, more than anyone.)

The palace is decorated in golds and reds, draperies decorated with the royal emblem, portraits of the previous heads of the royal family. Their guide is pleased to point out all of these little details, the intricate designs of the metal on the walls, the statue melted halfway due to a previous Fire Nation Avatar's temper, the smell of burnt linens ("A story for another time! Or just ask the prince!") The ceilings are so high, and made of glass so the reds and oranges of the sun's setting light illuminate them.

Roxas feels out of place, an imposter in Water Tribe fineries wandering around.

"Stop looking so serious!" Sora exclaims, jolting Roxas out of his thoughts. He breaks the odd formation of their traveling companions and moves toward Roxas, ready for a hug. "It's not _that_ big of a deal!"

Roxas feels the watchful (angry) eyes of Sora's masters burning through him. He's accustomed to their glaring. "It's a fancy place," he offers, shrugging a little but falling into Sora's hug. They're both sweating too much, so the hug isn't very comfortable, but he stays anyway, they both need this. "You're only a couple elements away from becoming a _true master_."

"Fire's supposed to be the hardest one, though!" Sora whines, squeezing Roxas tighter. "I don't know how yo—"

"Ahem!" One of the tutors clears his throat, narrows his eyes. Roxas frowns and brings his gaze to the floor. He feels even warmer than before, and his clenched fists burn.

 _I don't know how I'm doing it either!_

Their palace guide turns and eyes everyone warily. Roxas glares back.

Sora picks up the change in mood and sighs dramatically. He pulls away from hugging Roxas (they both wince at how sticky it feels) and announces, "I guess I'm too much of a Waterbender at heart!"

With practiced grace, he shifts his stance and pulls water from the air and to his waiting hands. The sudden dryness of the air makes Roxas start coughing, but he forces the coughs to subside. After making sure Roxas isn't coughing anymore, Sora sends him an exaggerated wink before splashing the water at the group of trainers walking with them.

Their spluttering brings a small smile to Roxas's lips, and his body temperature seems to decrease at the calm Sora brings. He unclenches his fists and rubs his sweaty palms on his leggings.

 _It's fine, it's fine, everything's fine. . ._

"You have the attitude of an Air Nomad sometimes, young Sora!" exclaims one of the women who'd been hit.

"Yeah!" Sora grabs Roxas's hand and runs forward with him. Roxas stumbles in surprise but lets himself be led. Anything would be better than with Sora's judgmental tutors, the bending masters Roxas so despises. "Guess so!" They trip a little as they run away, the indignant gasps and footsteps fading behind them.

They're running and running and running; it feels like they're not even in a foreign land, they're running free, lungs burning and sides aching. Maybe they could keep running, maybe if they run they can run away from the responsibility Sora was born into, maybe they could run from the problems Roxas has caused, maybe they could just—

Roxas doesn't know how they know where they're going, but in what feels like seconds they're slamming into the door to the throne room. Well, Sora stops in time, Roxas smacks into Sora, and they both fall into the door.

"Avatar?" The guards regard him with slight suspicion, but Sora smiles and straightens his posture with ease. With a smile from Sora, everyone relaxes, especially Roxas.

"Please. . . have the bending masters wait for me outside," Sora says, words only a little colored by his breathless panting. Roxas is breathless as well, coughing a little but not enough to cause worry. "My brother and I will be meeting with the royal family alone."

"Avatar Sora," one starts. Maybe he's wondering what happened to their guide, maybe he's wondering why Roxas is with the Avatar.

The other guard nods. "As expected. Your privacy will be maintained, so worry not. The Fire Lord does not like when people listen or interfere with her privacy."

"Uhhh, okay!" Sora flashes them both a grin and a thumbs up. Roxas hears footsteps approaching and looks to Sora, who wraps his arm around Roxas's shoulder. "We'll be going in now!"

"Did you plan this?" Roxas grumbles as they walk through the door. He hadn't been planning to be seen today.

Sora laughs and laughs and laughs, stretching his arms and pulling them back to relax his head in his palms. He is every bit the Avatar that will bring peace and stability to the world, in that moment, and Roxas feels immense relief and even hope. Maybe, just maybe, Sora can fix everything.

.

When Sora's Earthbending instructors had declared him ready to move to the Fire Nation, Roxas had initially been excited at the prospect. The Earthbenders were very straightforward in their desire for Sora to master Earth in all forms, and his inability to enter the Avatar state had been something they kept taunting him for and trying to remedy through physical force. Sora didn't handle their methods too well, and Roxas found himself in the middle of a scheme to force Sora into the Avatar state.

It had backfired so spectacularly (the only people who were supposed to know no longer had the means of telling anyone, but now. . .), Roxas wonders how Sora managed to convince the Earth Kingdom writers to not report about what had happened. When they'd taken a ship to the Fire Nation and the bending masters had scolded them for the incident, Roxas lost his hope in the Fire prince. There was no way one person would be able to change anything.

But Roxas knows how much Sora is hoping for his Firebending teacher to fix him. Sora wants to enter the Avatar state, but he also wants to learn control— _It's burning! Spirits! The boat's burning, Sora! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know I don't know what I'm—Sora! Please, I'm so, so sorry!—_ more than anything.

.

The Fire Lord's face is kind when she introduces herself, but she sits on an elevated throne shadowed by flames, and the kindness seems to evaporate. "The prince," she pauses, looks to a figure sitting beside the throne, "will be your teacher, Avatar."

The prince is tall, towering over everyone when he brings himself to full height. He takes a step toward them, hopping off the platform with the throne, a small smirk on his lips as he regards the two Water Tribe boys. His gaze pauses for the briefest moment on Roxas—Roxas lets out a breath and brings his gaze to meet those green, green eyes—before sweeping past him and landing on Sora.

"So you're the _Avatar_ ," he says, and it's hard to tell if he's mocking the fact or just making a statement. His tone commands attention, and Roxas can't tear his eyes away. The prince is so close to them, but Roxas doesn't feel close enough. "So _pleased_ to meet you."

"This is Axel, second in line to the throne, _esteemed_ prince of the Fire Nation." The prince laughs, and it sounds bitter. He pulls himself back up to stand near the throne. "His older brother cannot be here to welcome you, unfortunately, so Prince Axel will have to suffice."

Prince Axel waves a hand, rolling his eyes. He has a practiced nonchalance about him, and it doesn't stop Roxas from wanting to know more. "What an intro!"

"You should've heard what they said for me in the Earth Kingdom!" Sora exclaims.

"Yeah? Are they assholes there, too?" The Fire Lord makes a disappointed sound, but Sora laughs, smiling at Roxas and then at Axel.

"You have no idea."

.

The Fire Lord is gone for several minutes before one of them says something.

Axel's eyes glow bright green, toxic green, lighting up brighter as his smile widens (as his gaze takes in Sora's glowing presence). Roxas feels his heart rate pick up at the sight, and he sucks in a breath, looking away to steady himself. He wants to melt into the ground, wants to fall into Axel, wants to run from the growing warmth of the room, wants to stay where he is and just _want_.

"You ready to train with a master?" He quirks an eyebrow as Sora nods enthusiastically, and Roxas watches them both. He wets his lips, means to say something, says nothing. Fire lights his clenching fists, and he shakes himself from his jealousy. He moves his hands behind his back and glares at the floor.

"Yeah!" Sora exclaims quickly. Too quickly. _Shit. He can't have_ —

"Interesting," Axel says. Just hearing Axel talk makes Roxas look up again. Axel's smirking at him, and Roxas feels his lips turn upward in a dumb smile. He doesn't know what to say, but he wants to say something.

"I. . ."

(stupid, stupid, stupid, you're so _stupid_ )

"What's interesting?" Sora interrupts, moving to grab Roxas's shoulder. The stupid look falls from Roxas's face.

 _Fuck, fuck, how did he notice? I thought it was subtle, I couldn't control it, I, I_. . .

Axel's grin seems the slightest bit scary (devious, beautiful) and then flames rise around him. He raises a hand, palm up, and curls his fingers. "My friend Lexaeus told me something interesting." The name doesn't sound very familiar to Roxas, but he supposes everything about the Avatar could be considered interesting. He kind of wishes he could be interesting to Axel, too. "I hope he was right."

Sora laughs, but it's forced and uncomfortable, and Roxas hates that he makes Sora feel like this, he always makes Sora feel like this. He feels his fists clenching again and he quickly uncurls his fingers and tries to hug his brother. "Sora."

"You know, I'll be nice and give you some warning," Axel announces, pulling Roxas from his thoughts.

"What?"

"Warning!" And then Axel throws a ball of fire at them.

Roxas feels himself being shoved—"Sora!"—and then he lands on the floor. Sora, meanwhile, rolls out of the path of the fireball as Axel summons another. With a glare, Sora grounds his stance and pulls the earth from under his feet, pulling solid rock from the floor to act as a barrier for him to crouch behind. Axel's first fireball leaves a trail of fire behind it, reducing the area of fighting space they have in the room.

"What are you _doing_?" Sora shouts, and he smashes his foot against the ground and raises his hands, erecting another earth wall in front of Roxas. Dust scatters with the smoke from Axel's fire, and it's difficult to see. Roxas chokes on the air. Sora only has enough skill in two elements at this point, and nothing has been able to trigger the Avatar state for Sora, not even when their parents—

He can't think of any reason for Axel to react this way. Axel isn't even really fighting, he's standing in one place and throwing fireballs at them. (This makes Roxas draw in a breath at the thought of actually having to fight Axel, what would it be like, the adrenaline, the power, the beauty of dancing flames. . .)

Roxas doesn't know where he's supposed to go or what he's expected to do (and not do) in this fight. He's trying to catch his breath but coughing as smoke fills the room. It feels like he's hacking his lungs out, there's so much dust. It's the Earth Kingdom all over again, but this time Roxas isn't going to fall for it, he's not going to mess up, he's not going to ruin things for Sora.

He peeks around the rock wall to survey his surroundings. Sora has a large rock ready to throw at Axel, but he won't throw it unless he has to, he's not the violent type, Axel must have known that already, and Roxas is just in the way, he's always just in the way. He chokes on the dry air.

(Axel is in his element, eyes glowing and smirk wide and proud. The flames surrounding him make Roxas think he was meant to stand there, tall and glowing like a bright fire all his own.)

Did the Fire Lord plan for this? Is that why she'd left so quickly? Does Axel want to hurt Sora?

Axel's and Roxas's eyes meet, and everything pauses for a mere moment: Roxas feels even warmer (stupid, stupid, _stupid_ ), the heat from the room increases steadily, Axel's next fireball glows blue. It's getting larger and larger, and it takes a moment for Roxas to realize that it's moving toward him.

It's. . . It's moving _toward_ him!

He jumps out of the way just in time, as the fire makes Sora's earth wall protection crumble, but the flames are so close, the heat causes him to stumble face first into one of the columns surrounding the room for decoration. His nose aches and his palms are scratched. Roxas hisses as he adjusts his position to try to see what's happening. He's sweating from the heat of the fire, which is spreading quickly. "Sora," Roxas lets out a heavy breath, "can I. . ." He coughs some more, eyes watering.

"Don't hurt him!" Sora shouts, and he's throwing large clumps of earth at Axel, who dodges most of them but also throws fire of his own. Dust and smoke make it difficult to see, but the fire glows bright. The air is too dry for Sora to pull water out of it, limiting Sora's ammunition to the earth, unless Sora can suddenly control fire.

Axel looks right into Roxas's eyes and forms another fireball. "This one's for you, Water Tribe boy."

Roxas stares forward (at the fireball heading in his direction, why is the prince aiming at him, _why_ ) without feeling the impact of the mound of earth that smashes into his side and shoves him out of the way. Axel's eyes were on him the entire time and as Roxas is forced off of the fireball's path, he sees that Sora managed a hit on Axel as well. He and Axel fall at the same time.

"How do you like _that_?" Sora shouts, throwing another large earth ball at Axel, who both rolls away and throws a blast of fire that disintegrates the rock aimed at him. The ground quakes at the impact and the fires continue to burn, but Sora is oblivious to all but how he is finally gaining the upper hand.

Roxas smiles a little, hissing at the definite bruise forming on his body as he tries to stand. He's sweating more than he's ever done, and he regrets the thick jacket over his blue tunic, slightly singed from the path left by Axel's fireballs, coated in dirt and dust. "Is it over?" He coughs and coughs, pulling up the neckline of his tunic to try and filter out the dust and smoke he's breathing.

Sora prepares another mound of earth, but this one has a pointed end meant to inflict damage.

"Congrats, Avatar," Axel declares just as the earth weapon is about to hit him, "you've passed!"

Sora pauses, though his earth weapon is still poised to strike.

"Is this some kind of stupid training exercise?" Roxas demands in realization, hating the scratchy way his voice sounds. He swallows back the urge to cough as the dust begins to settle. The air is so dry, it's difficult.

"Wait, seriously?"

Axel throws his head back and laughs. His laugh makes Roxas shiver despite the heat; he wants to hear Axel laugh again. "Why not?"

"Really?" Sora surveys the damage of the throne room skeptically. He lowers the earth he'd summoned but makes no moves to put out the fires Axel started. "But—" Axel isn't attempting to hurt them anymore, but Roxas is still wary and confused. (And his body aches, thanks to Sora.) "Then who just _beasted_ that training exercise?"

"Yeah, yeah," Axel grumbles as he stands.

"Sora!" Roxas groans, and Sora rushes over, extending his hand to help. He coughs a little, but not as strongly as he has before, so Sora doesn't need to worry. "You didn't have to hit me."

"You were just standing there!" Sora smiles sheepishly. "It worked, didn't it? I'll heal any bruises later!" Despite the nonchalance of his words, he's rubbing Roxas's back in a soothing way.

"Does that extend to me?" Axel interrupts, brushes dust off of his clothes, hops down from the raised platform where the Fire Lord had resided with him earlier.

"No." Sora wraps his arm protectively around Roxas's shoulders, which Roxas allows because he's too tired to shove Sora away. "Why'd you have to go after Roxas, Axel?" Sora says something else afterward, but Roxas is too busy staring.

Axel is really, _really_ tall, and really, _really_ attractive. Roxas swallows and tries to make it less obvious that he's staring (he has to tilt his head upward to get the full picture, there's no way he isn't obvious), but Axel's kind of looking at him too and _wow_ Axel's eyes are so green it looks amazing with how red his hair is—

" _Roxas_ , huh?" Roxas's legs feel weak. "I thought I'd see some fire on your end." Axel shrugs and smirks, looking not even a little tired from whatever it was that had just happened. But Roxas's heart is racing and, _fuck,_ Sora can probably feel how nervous Roxas is at that moment. (Sora's a bit dense, so he might not realize why, but fuck if Roxas is going to let it get that far.)

"Don't do that again," Sora says, hugging Roxas closer.

"It seemed like a good idea."

Sora stomps his foot so the earth under Axel's feet shifts, and Axel stumbles, almost falling before he manages to catch himself.

"Bad idea then, got it." He raises his hands in mock surrender. "I thought he'd defend himself."

Roxas starts to say something but ends up coughing instead at the dust Sora and Axel have managed to stir. He hates proving points like that without meaning to. _I'm not weak._

Sora pouts. "Yeah, well, I didn't summon any fire. Again."

Axel places a hand on Sora's shoulder with mock sympathy. "There, there. I didn't see the fire I wanted to see, but," he meets Roxas's gaze again, green eyes shining bright as Roxas finally gives in and lets Sora support his weight ("Roxas? Do you need me to—"), "I'm sure that can change."

.

"Whoa! How are you. . ." The slightest bit of envy. Excitement. Awe. "I thought you didn't want. . ."

"I don't, but. . ."

"What are you doing?" Fury. Frustration. A wrist grabbed too tight, squeezed too hard, twisted away. "What's this _again_? You could cause so much damage, if you melt this home, if you wield that destruction in our Tribe you, you're no better than the dark spirit that—"

"It wasn't him!" Panic. Fear. "I swear, he didn't—"

A smirk, slowly stretching wide. "Of course. Just like he didn't burn yo—"

.

Roxas and Sora are given a nice bedroom with an adjoining bathroom to share for the duration of Sora's training. Technically, the room is only for the Avatar, and Roxas along with Sora's bending masters are meant to stay in a nearby visitor house, but Sora's far too kind, and he knows how uncomfortable the tutors make Roxas feel. To be fair, though, it's been public knowledge how much the Waterbenders dislike Roxas. Despite how much Roxas now hates the Earth Kingdom, the people there were much nicer. Roxas hopes he can see a few of them (Hayner, Pence, and Olette) again.

Apparently, everyone had been aware of Axel's plan to throw fireballs at them (which was why the tutors were supposed to be the ones with Sora when he met the Fire Lord, not Roxas). When they'd left the throne room, the bending masters were quick to run to Sora and check for injury. The Fire Lord was not informed, though, and she had been livid at the destruction of the throne room. Axel had laughed about it.

"The perks of being the Avatar," Sora declares with a wink, stretching then folding his arms back so he could rest the back of his head in his hands. He falls back and plops onto the bed, staying in the same position.

Roxas snorts, then frowns and touches his neck. His throat is still sore from the coughing fit that Sora's fight with Axel caused, and Sora's healing abilities only extend so far. Roxas no longer has the bruises and scrapes, but Sora can't heal what he can't see, and Sora hadn't been taught the finer details of healing because the Northern Water Tribe had strict rules about teaching men how to heal. Sora only knows what Kairi had been able to teach him. "Don't let Kairi hear you say that."

"You suck, Roxas!"

"Oh, _thanks_."

Sora sits up on the bed. "Do you think she gets my letters okay?"

"I don't know how messenger hawks work," Roxas says, thinking, "but if you haven't gotten any angry letters back, that's probably a good sign."

(Roxas hopes Xion gets his letters okay, and he hopes the lack of response is a good sign.)

"I don't just want it to be _no_ letters!" Sora whines.

"How are the hawks supposed to find us if we keep moving?"

Sora ignores this. "I just want to hear how the tribe's doing"— _of course_ ;Roxas grits his teeth—"and how _she's_ faring and if she's heard from Riku. . ."

Roxas sighs. Part of the reason Sora agreed to travel around the world to learn to master the elements rather than sending for the masters to come to the Water Tribe was because of Riku. When it had been made public that Sora was the Avatar, Riku had begun acting differently. Roxas had never been close enough friends with Riku to recognize the difference, and he'd been dealing with his own problems, but eventually even Roxas had begun to notice. Sora had been worrying for a while before he finally talked to Roxas about it—they didn't tend to share things with each other, not since Roxas had caused the accident—and by then, Riku had left the tribe entirely.

Sora and Kairi had become closer friends in Riku's absence, but they both missed their friend too much. When the opportunity came to leave, Sora took it, and Roxas joined him.

"Well, he wasn't in the Earth Kingdom," Roxas says at last, when he and Sora have shaken their thoughts away. Sora perks up a little.

"Yeah!"

"And if he was, he's heard that we were there," Roxas adds, bitterness obvious. Everyone must've at least heard rumors about what happened.

"You're right." Sora smiles, bright enough that Roxas forces his thoughts of the incident away and manages a small smile. "We're going to find Riku and we're all going home together and it'll be like before."

Roxas doesn't know what he'll do when they have to go back to the Northern Water Tribe. He doesn't want to go back (except to see Xion) but he has nowhere else to go.

Sora must sense Roxas's mood falling because he exclaims quickly, "Let's do something fun! Let's explore the palace!"

There probably isn't much to see since they had that tour earlier in the day with that palace guide, but the idea of running into Axel again makes Roxas's heart skip a beat. The guest quarters are probably far from where the royals stay, but it could be decent information to know.

"Define explore."

"Snoop." Sora wiggles his eyebrows.

"Like at home?"

"And like in the Earth Kingdom!"

"We could get in trouble," Roxas says, but his smile is more genuine this time.

"I don't think the _prince_ would care. Besides," Sora's smile stretches into a grin (a grin Roxas ends up mirroring, a small reminder that they were twins), "we need to get back at him for earlier."

.

"This says _Larxene_ was in the third Earth capital!"

"But isn't she the daughter of one of the Fire Nation governors?"

"And apparently the Earth Kingdom sent someone named Lexaeus back to the Fire Nation?"

"D'you think Riku might be involved? He's a Water Tribe prince. . ."

"Did you hear that?"

"Put everything back, I think they might be coming for me!"

"Can't have you miss your Earthbending lesson."

* * *

 **Notes** :

This is my first Kingdom Hearts fic and my first fic in a long time, so I hope you like it!

I don't plan for this to be long, maybe 7 chapters at most, but we'll see where this goes. I have the major plot points already planned out, so this is going somewhere, I promise. Let me know what you think! I worry they're not very in-character, and I have issues with foreshadowing so I know a lot of things must be either really obvious or really confusing, so ask if you have questions or criticisms.

Thank you for reading!


	2. cough it out

The palace at night isn't as exciting as Roxas thought it would be. It's moderately lit, candles and torches lining the hall walls in an eerie way, but everything looks the same as earlier. The guest room is on the ground floor, and there are guards by the entrances. Despite Sora's insistence that he is a master of stealth, Roxas ends up doing all of the leading.

Now that he knows how the Fire prince looks, Roxas spends a little longer examining the portraits of the current members of the royal family. The Fire Lord is very pretty, with golden eyes and dark hair and flowing red robes; the painter, though, has captured the coldness of her eyes, the stiffness of her posture, the wrinkles of stress and age. The portrait of whom Roxas assumes is Axel's older brother is burnt, so all Roxas can see is a military uniform. He wonders about the dynamic of this family.

Roxas spends far too long looking at Axel's portrait, at the blankness of his expression despite the smirk on his lips, the bright red of his hair, the poison green of his eyes. The painter is talented, but seeing Axel in person is an experience.

Sora clears his throat ( _c'mon, Roxas, this is_ bo _ring_ ), and they turn a few corners and head up some stairs and then they're dreadfully lost. Sora's excited whispers grow faster and louder.

"Do you think this is where the Fire Lord sleeps? Do you think we might run into anyone?"

"They're probably asleep _now_ ," Roxas reminds his brother. They turn a corner, and then another. But Roxas does hope for the chance to see someone. He did go exploring for a reason.

They walk close to each other, Roxas leading the way, Sora somewhere behind him, easily distracted.

"I want to see a royal bedroom!" Sora opens a door slowly, before Roxas can stop him, and then quickly closes it. Sora leads them in a different direction. It's with Sora's luck that there's no one inside the next room Sora tries. He gestures for Roxas to follow, walking in on tiptoe. "The one in the Earth Kingdom was really nice!"

Roxas glances around before he enters what looks to be an office. "Maybe after you practice with him, the prince'll let you—"

"Shhh!" Roxas is a little offended, considering how much Sora talks. He doesn't say anything.

The only light in the room is what comes from the outside hallway, and Roxas isn't sure what they're looking for, if they're even looking for anything. It's too dark to distinguish how the room looks.

When they'd explored the palace in the Earth Kingdom, they'd had the goal of finding more about Riku's whereabouts. Instead, they'd found police records about the civil disturbances on the coast, that the children in the royal families of all the nations except for the Air Nomads were causing trouble at around the same time. They hadn't had the chance to ask about it, for as soon as they'd found out about these internal problems, the masters of Earthbending decided to increase the difficulty of Sora's training—and then they decided to force him into the Avatar state.

Every Avatar has problems to resolve, and Roxas worries about what Sora will have to face, when everyone has been talking of peace.

"We won't find anything like last time," Sora says quietly, when Roxas doesn't move.

"Yeah," Roxas agrees at last, but they both move to the desk anyway, to see if they can find anything interesting. "I hope." Sora pulls open the second drawer of the desk ("People never hide their important stuff at the top! It's too obvious!") and Roxas takes the papers from inside. Sora grabs a couple to try and read them. They'd have to bring the papers close to the door to try and read anything. Roxas doesn't want to disturb the curtains of the room in case a guard outside is watching. "We should've brought a light."

There's the sound of rustling, of Sora stomping his feet a bit, and then Sora mumbles, "Maybe some firebending could help."

They're both quiet, frozen, staring at each other, listening if anyone was nearby, listening and watching to see who would move first. Roxas's heart is racing, his hands clammy. D-did Sora mean. . . He looks up and meets Sora's eyes, parts his lips to ask—

"Did you hear that?" Sora demands. It's quiet for a moment, then Roxas hears the unmistakable sound of a door closing. _So much for that_.

"We have to go!"

"Let's just close the door and hide in here!"

"What if they want to come in here?" The room gets brighter and warmer.

"Maybe they aren't—"

"We can't just stay in here!"

"Then what do we— _Spirits_!"

The papers were _on fire_. Roxas drops them to the floor and jumps back, then tries to stomp out the fire with his shoe. The whole room seems to glow (now everyone can see, now everyone can _tell_ ), and Sora's just standing in place, deep in thought. Roxas can't make out any of the words written on the paper before they burn. "Do something!"

Sora stares at the fire, and he looks sad, almost hurt. "Roxas," he whispers, "why can't I—"

" _Sora_. . ."

With a sad sound, Sora shifts the position he's standing in and pulls water from the air (Roxas feels an itch to cough but holds back), putting out the fire with ease.

The room becomes cold and dark again, and both Sora and Roxas lose their energy to explore the Fire palace, deflating with every passing second. They stare at the mess left behind, the burnt papers, the wet floor.

Neither of them knows what to say. Roxas knows how Sora feels about Firebending, and he still let it happen. And it got out of control, again.

"Let's, let's just head back," Roxas says at last. He picks up the soggy, burnt pages. It would look more suspicious to leave them in their current state, so he shoves them into a pocket in his tunic.

.

"You shouldn't do this anymore," he whispers. "It's dangerous. Everyone thinks you're. . ."

He laughs, but it's empty and sad. He's lonely. "What am I supposed to do?"

.

The hallways seem more confusing now that they're trying to head back, and Roxas can't remember if they'd turned left or right where the hallways branch in different directions. Sometimes it looks like they've passed the same area multiple times.

When he thinks he hears footsteps, Roxas scrambles to hide around corners and Sora follows. But he hasn't seen anyone, hasn't heard anyone say anything. And even though it had definitely been the sound of someone opening and closing a door that had caused the commotion leading to the accident in the office, Roxas hasn't seen signs of anyone in the hall with them. No movements, no sounds, nothing.

"Sora," Roxas whispers as he peers around a corner. "I'm sorry."

 _I'm sorry what happened, well,_ happened. Sora has enough to deal with because he's the Avatar, and Roxas ends up making things worse for him every time.

"Sora?"

Sora hates Firebending because fire is hard to control, because he hasn't been able to summon fire when he wants it, because of the accident. Roxas shouldn't have let Sora suggest the idea, he shouldn't have let the fire start, he shouldn't have scared Sora into his shell.

Mishaps like these are happening too often, it seems.

When he hears no response, Roxas turns. "Sora? You'll—"

Nothing.

 _Shit_.

Then it is dark.

All of the lanterns lighting the hall go out at once. Roxas presses himself against a wall, wondering how he can lie his way out of this one, how he managed to lose Sora, how he hasn't heard anything. His thoughts aren't important enough to distract himself so fully and cause this kind of trouble.

"Sora," Roxas hisses, trying to find his hand to hold, trying to remember where to go.

What is he supposed to do?

"Well, _well_ , who do we have here?" _Shit_. A single light shines, a ball of flame in someone's hand.

The yellow glow is in the prince's hand. Roxas freezes, heart thumping loudly in his chest. _Axel_.

He glances around, realizes he genuinely can't find Sora, lets out a breath mixed of worry and relief. "Just me."

"Hmm."

Roxas can't tell if Axel is disappointed, but it sounds like he is. Roxas pretends this doesn't bother him as much as it does. He moves from his spot pressed against the wall and straightens up, so he doesn't look weak or afraid.

"So what're you doing up here?"

Roxas doesn't know what to say.

"Trying to find the prince's room just to," Axel puts out the fire he's holding so it is dark, then comes up behind Roxas, so his breath is by Roxas's ear (Roxas jumps a little, but tries to keep his composure, Axel is so close to him, they're breathing the same air), " _talk_?"

Roxas can't hear anything beyond the soft breaths Axel takes and the blood rushing to his own face and ears. Axel is so warm. He wonders what Axel does in his free time, how Axel came to be so graceful with fire, whether Axel wanders his palace at night just _because_. But he can't just _ask_ Axel these things.

(He wants to learn them on his own.)

"I'm here. . ." He squints in the dark and definitely can't see Sora at all. He stares at the floor, sighs. "To talk, yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He can almost _feel_ the smirk coming from Axel. Roxas feels like an idiot, and his face is so hot he's sure Axel can feel the heat radiating from his skin. He hasn't felt this way in a long time.

"So talk." Axel lights the flame in his hand again, then gestures for Roxas to follow him. They walk in silence for a couple minutes, because Roxas can't gather his thoughts like he wants to and Axel isn't making any attempts to start the conversation. They reach the stairs, and Axel puts out the fire in his hand.

Roxas wants to ask how Axel managed to find the stairs so easily, but he figures that asking would just accentuate his own stupidity, so he doesn't say anything.

"Not much of a talker, are you?" Axel laughs, and the sound of his laugh makes Roxas trip on his own feet. He almost falls down the stairs, but Axel catches Roxas by the arm ("Careful there, _Roxas_."), and they both sit on the top step. "Where's your brother?"

"Oh, umm." Roxas wants to know that himself. It's natural that Axel wants to know where Sora is, and Roxas wants to know too, but Roxas also wants to spend this time with Axel. When Sora starts his firebending training, Roxas is going to be on the sidelines again, there to cause trouble when he doesn't want to but not there to do anything he wants to do. "In the room, probably."

"You didn't want to be with him?"

"Why were you wandering around?" Roxas asks instead.

Axel clicks his tongue. "I wanted to stretch for a bit. That practice thing we did earlier? I miss being able to do that."

"You can't practice every day?"

"I'm kind of expected to do other things now." Roxas feels dumb; he should have known that, it's _obvious_. "Because I'm the _prince_." He sounds bitter, and Roxas wants to ask him about it, but he isn't sure what he's supposed to say and not say.

"It's the same for Sora, too." _The same for me_.

It's not exactly the same, the way they expect certain things from Roxas because he's related to the Avatar, but it's enough that Roxas feels he can relate. He doesn't mention this, though. Axel might think he's scrambling for something that relates them, since Roxas is just a nobody.

Axel places a hand on Roxas's shoulder, and Roxas jumps so obviously that Axel starts laughing again. Roxas blushes harder, thankful that Axel can't see his face. "Earlier, it wasn't anything against you, you know? I just wanted to see some fire."

"Sora. . . He hasn't ever. . ." Roxas can't finish his statement (Axel's hand is still _on his shoulder_ ), and Axel seems intrigued.

They're both quiet for a long enough time that Roxas is about to start rambling about some stupid thing just so he can talk to Axel longer.

"You know what?" Axel sounds excited, and Roxas smiles a little. "Why don't we have a rematch?" He then mutters something intelligible.

"What?"

"For earlier."

Roxas is silent. Axel tilts his head questioningly. "I'm not weak. . ." Roxas knows he sounds stupid, but words seem to fail him around Axel.

"I never said you were."

"You thought it." They all think it.

"You don't know what I think, _Roxas_."

Roxas inhales deep at the sound of his name on Axel's lips. "I. . . I could beat you," he whispers. It's too dark to make eye contact. Roxas rubs his hands together until the itch fades.

"Yeah?" They're quiet for a moment. "Show me."

Roxas looks around to make sure Sora isn't hiding around, then nods. He hopes Sora made it back to the room okay. He knows that this spar he's going to have with Axel is a bad idea, as there's a reason he hasn't been practicing (hasn't been allowed to practice). Sora would probably be mad at him—and Sora's tutors would be furious. Roxas clenches his hands into fists, then sighs and releases the tension.

"Okay," he agrees, because he's a stupid boy who makes stupid decisions for stupid reasons.

Axel lights a fire in his palm, and his face glows. His eyes are beautiful.

(Roxas thinks, in that moment, that he could follow Axel anywhere. And he does.)

.

"So this is the royal armory." Axel stretches his arms wide in a dramatic show, then slouches and leans against a wall. "Choose your weapon."

The armory is actually a little past the throne room, but Roxas and Sora opted to skip this section of the palace when they'd begun exploring. Maybe they should try again (with a lantern, this time).

The Northern Water Tribe has its own fair share of weapons, which Roxas has seen once, but both places generate different feelings in him. The Fire Nation armory is dark and the walls are made of metal, so the room smells almost rusty. It has so many different types of everything, bats, swords, shields. The weapons arsenal of the Water Tribe is larger and not part of the palace, though access is restricted to the royals and military.

Riku had let them explore the arsenal so Roxas could better defend himself with physical weapons, so Sora wouldn't have to worry as much.

Roxas pretends he can't feel Axel's eyes on him. He gets clumsier when he knows he's being watched.

It's brighter here, and Roxas notices that Axel is wearing a dark red robe long enough that it reaches his calves. He has a black piece around his neck with pointed shoulders, like armor. He's wearing gold slippers. Roxas isn't familiar enough with Fire Nation fashion, so he can't tell if Axel had really been wandering the palace instead of sleeping or if he'd been out somewhere and had come back in.

Roxas is about to grab a sword with a golden blade when he sees the twin broadswords decorated on the wall. He has to stretch on tiptoe to reach them (he hopes Axel wasn't watching him when he had to stretch, he knows his height is a bit underwhelming), but dual swords have been his weapon of choice since he and Xion had been practicing their fighting skills together. He didn't think he would see them here.

(Xion was skilled in using a single sword, and she and Roxas were pretty evenly matched until they'd had to—been forced to—stop practicing with each other. He wonders if she kept practicing, if she's gotten stronger. He misses her.)

Axel whistles, and Roxas blushes pink and almost drops the swords as soon as they're in his hands.

"Nice choice." He had been leaning against a wall, but he straightens up and moves to grab his own weapons, a pair of chakrams.

Seeing the chakrams reminds Roxas that he lost Sora and is now doing something of which Sora would definitely not approve. He wonders where Sora went, if he's okay. Sora is Sora, though, and Roxas knows better than to worry too much. He hopes Sora doesn't find out how much of an idiot he is. His stomach churns, and he isn't sure if it's because he's excited to spar with Axel or because he worries about what he's going to do.

They exit the armory and go outside to what looks like an arena. They're surrounded by low metal walls and rising seats, and beyond that, trees and the night sky. The ground is metal, too, and Roxas hears his and Axel's footsteps echoing.

Is this where Sora and Axel will be training? Roxas shivers at the sudden chill, unable to stop himself from coughing. The air is dry and bitter. He's wearing the same tunic as he'd worn when Axel and Sora had fought earlier (still singed and dirty), but what had once been too warm an outfit was now not enough since he isn't wearing the jacket. It's a lot chillier at night, even though it isn't the coldest he's had to deal with. It's been a while since he's been in the North Pole, though. He forces himself to stop coughing, sucks in a breath through his mouth. The wind blows right into his face.

Having been inside a warm building all day, the sudden change is a bit much. In the North Pole, he normally wore a warm scarf. Apparently warm scarves are not in fashion in the Fire Nation.

Axel spins a chakram, raises an eyebrow at Roxas. "Bending off-limits?"

Roxas thinks about it, thinks of the possibility of slipping up, of a repeat of the Earth Kingdom. Axel's fire is nothing. It might be a good thing, to have all that fire around. "No, it's fine." He smirks. "Fire away."

Axel laughs. "You always find a way to surprise me, kid."

Roxas smiles genuinely at that, flushing at the praise (when had he done anything that could've surprised Axel?), but Axel seems to do a double take at Roxas's expression. Roxas's smile dims. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_.

He distracts himself for a moment by swinging his swords to get a feel for the weapons. Axel clears his throat, twirls his chakrams, stretches his arms. "Ready?"

"Ready."

"Go."

Axel jumps high so Roxas has to strain to see him, and from this vantage point he aims a large blast of fire at Roxas. Roxas blinks as the fire gets closer, then, remembering what they were doing, he positions his swords to deflect the flames. He is pushed back by the force of the fire, but it doesn't burn him. The flames disperse around them, landing and fizzling out.

Roxas rushes forward and swings his swords, one after the other, in a steady barrage. Metal clangs against metal, echoing loudly. Axel uses his chakram like a shield, waiting for the right moment before he ducks and kicks and sends another ball of flame at Roxas.

Roxas slides out of the way, coughing at the smoke. Maybe allowing bending wasn't the best idea; the smoke could cause problems.

He swipes his swords again, faster than before (he's finally getting accustomed to the weight of the weapons in his hands, the way they move, the way _he_ needs to move), and he manages to catch Axel by surprise. Axel stumbles back and Roxas smirks, cutting Axel's robe—nice one, _Roxas_ , Axel says, and Roxas flushes pink—before Axel throws a flaming chakram at him.

Roxas ducks and struggles to catch his breath before he jumps back up—he can't lose. He won't lose.

"Good try," Roxas says, taunts, because he might as well get into it. Axel laughs.

It's only a few minutes in, though, before Roxas wonders if he made a mistake. ( _Remember what happened at home? Why did you let it happen in the Earth Kingdom? I— You could_ die!) It's been a while since he's practiced, but he doesn't remember getting this tired this quickly. He feels out of breath, and he almost wants to stop.

"Tired already?"

Roxas shakes his head, shakes himself out of his weariness. His legs feel weak. "Just getting warmed up," he says, clearing his throat. The more he swings his swords, the more he forgets the fatigue.

Axel swings his chakram, and Roxas ducks to keep himself from getting hit. As he ducks, he tries to hit Axel with a swipe of his sword. Axel jumps back and Roxas is forced to roll out of the way as Axel spins around and swipes fire at Roxas with his feet.

(Roxas wishes he could bend fire like that.)

The fire warms the metal floor and walls of the arena so the air isn't as chilly, but when the fire dies, the air is cool again, and Roxas coughs at the harsh cold of the air as it appears so suddenly. Axel smirks at Roxas's pause.

His chest feels tight, and he exhales loudly before switching to a comfortable stance so he can defend against Axel's throw.

Axel switches between bending and fighting with his chakrams, using the fire to weaken Roxas's stance so he's privy to getting hit by the chakrams. Roxas won't let this happen.

Roxas jumps up and swings his swords downward, managing a hit to Axel before his sword is caught on Axel's chakram and he has to jump backward. Axel raises his arms and creates flames, lets them rise around him and surround them, so Roxas can't touch Axel unless he wants to burn.

Axel fights with his chakrams like they, too, are swords, swinging them at Roxas in a constant stream of hits that snag on his tunic but are otherwise easily blocked by Roxas's swords. Whenever their weapons catch on each other, they struggle to overpower the other in terms of strength. Axel is thin and not very muscular, but he is strong, and Roxas is relatively strong, but—

"Lookin' a little pale—nervous?"

 _You wish_.

But his breaths indeed get faster and more shallow, and Roxas can't think of, or form, a reply. He stumbles. Luck works to his favor, though. Axel's chakram gets caught on his sword, and Roxas manages a smirk and swings his other sword to pull the chakram from Axel's grasp. His arms shake from the exertion (Axel is so much stronger than he looks, and Roxas isn't feeling up to his normal strength—maybe Sora hadn't healed him fully?) but he manages to pull Axel's chakram away. He tosses it to the side, then clashes his swords together to generate a hopefully threatening sound.

Axel uses his now free hand to shoot fire at Roxas, but Roxas deflects these throws with his swords. He begins a harsh barrage of striking his swords at Axel, who blocks each hit easily before switching tactics and aiming fire at Roxas's feet.

Roxas has to jump backward, and in that moment of distraction, Axel slides to retrieve his lost chakram. With both back in his hands, he grins widely and stretches his arms out to his sides, spinning the chakrams as he bends fire into them.

"Careful!" Axel calls. He throws one chakram, then another, and as Roxas manages to dodge one, he ends up being hit by the other.

"Ahh!" Roxas stumbles to his knees, eyes watering at the hit. He knows from the burn against his stomach and the pressure of the chakram as it spins into him that Axel isn't putting all of his energy into the fight (but then, neither is Roxas), but it doesn't stop the hits from hurting. He gasps and squeezes his eyes shut as he collects his energy again.

He presses a hand to the wound, which is thankfully only superficial (he doesn't know how he's going to convince Sora to heal this, what excuse he could give for its appearance). "Not. . . bad," he manages.

"Yeah?" Axel retrieves his chakrams again, allowing Roxas more time to recuperate, and then positions himself to pull the same move again.

They need to end this, Roxas decides. He feels a little nauseous, and as much as he's enjoying this time with Axel—he hasn't fought in a while, really, he misses the exercise—he's feeling sick.

This time, when the first chakram moves toward him, Roxas catches it with his sword and sends it spiraling back, using the other sword to deflect the second chakram. Axel catches his chakram and laughs.

"Fast learner, huh?"

Roxas smiles, and Axel smiles back. He resists the growing urge to cough; ending this fight isn't going to be as easy as he'd like. His lungs _burn_.

.

"I wish I could come with you," Xion says, resting her head on Roxas's shoulder. They're hiding in a cave a moderate distance from the tribe, so they don't have to worry about being seen. Sora knows where they are, but he won't tell, for he's too busy collecting his belongings to prepare.

"I wish you could, too," Roxas mumbles. He's glad he gets to leave, as the only person he'll miss is Xion (and maybe Kairi, but Kairi is Sora's friend more than she is Roxas's), but he doesn't want to leave Xion behind. He also doesn't really want her to come with him, either, because the bending masters are awful company and Roxas already knows he isn't going to like traveling with them.

At least with him gone, though, Xion and her family won't have to worry about her reputation. Roxas won't be there to ruin it. Xion deserves the best, and Roxas is the farthest thing from it.

Maybe with Roxas gone, Xion can be happy. She'll be free.

"Just keep practicing when I'm gone. When I come back, maybe one of us might actually win for real."

Xion laughs.

.

Twenty minutes later and they're finally winding down, steps slowing, weapons faltering, feet stumbling. They're both breathing hard and loud, the only sounds in the air. He hopes Axel can't hear it, the excitement, the adrenaline coursing through him is so palpable.

"Ready, Roxas?"

Axel is about to strike at him, but before he can, in a moment of desperation, Roxas's head pounds and his vision goes white. His body feels like it's on fire, and his hands are shaking, his swords warm in his hands. He doesn't know if he actually screams or if it's all in his head.

He squeezes his eyes shut (it's still so bright behind his closed eyelids, and it _hurts_ ), breathes out, then opens his eyes again, calmer when the pain subsides.

Axel stares at Roxas with wide eyes.

He's on the ground for some reason, chakrams in hand. He mutters something (what did he do, _fuck_ , what happened?), and Roxas makes his move. He needs to end this, and who is he to question what the Spirits have handed him?

Axel's chakram is aimed at him, fire ready, and he throws it at Roxas. Roxas is expecting this, though, and he dodges the chakram and jumps at Axel, sword positioned so Axel doesn't have the chance to get up.

And then his sword is at Axel's neck, his other sword ready to strike if Axel finds a way to escape. They stay in this position for a while, maybe a few minutes, just staring at each other, soaking in the other's presence. Roxas's heart beats loud and fast. He wonders if Axel's feeling the same.

"Not bad," Axel admits in a whisper, and Roxas feels his face flush more.

"Y-yeah?" He inhales, inhales again, coughs.

"Yeah."

Roxas makes a strangled noise. _Shit_ , not again.

"You did it," Axel continues. "You—"

Roxas coughs again, and again. "Y-yeah?"

Axel smiles, and Roxas almost falls on top of him. His eyes are so green. His smile makes Roxas forget everything, just for a minute, and it's only them, soaking up each other's warmth. Roxas manages a shaky smile before dropping his sword with a loud clatter and moving from his position poised over Axel.

"Roxas?" Axel sits up. "Hey!"

"I—" Roxas throws the other sword to the side and pounds a fist at his chest, trying, failing, to suck more air into this throat. The itch to cough is overwhelming. _I'm fine_ , he tries to say, but even in his mind it's a soft whisper. He coughs, and then he coughs again, and then he can't stop. "Need—"

It hurts to swallow, it hurts to breathe, he can't stop trying to expel air from his body but he's not taking in any air when he breathes. He's choking, he's coughing, he's—

"I—"

Shit, _shit_ , where's Sora, he shouldn't have come here, he shouldn't have let this happen. He hasn't fought this hard since the incident at the Earth Kingdom, and that shouldn't have even happened either. Roxas is so dumb, he's so stupid, he— He coughs out the little air he breathes, falling forward.

 _This_ shouldn't have happened. It's the Earth Kingdom all over again, except this time there's no excuse beyond Roxas's stupidity.

.

Axel is warm. Roxas smiles, then coughs some more. Axel must've caught him before he fell, he's still standing.

"R-Roxas!"

It sounds like Sora, Roxas thinks, but he's with Axel, so it's not really Sora who said that. _You should get Sora_ , he tries to say, but all he does is cough on Axel instead.

"You dummy!" Roxas sort of smiles because he can't disagree.

He closes his eyes.

* * *

 **Notes** :

Hi again, everyone! Thank you so much for the positive response on the first chapter! (Thanks especially to _Dragon Silhouette_ and _Bumi_ , for reviewing! Your words helped motivate me to write faster, and I loved hearing your thoughts.)

My other updates might not come as quickly as this one because of my rotation schedule, but I'm having a lot of fun writing and I hope you're having fun reading! Let me know what you think and have a lovely day~


	3. a little something new

Roxas had always been a sickly child. He was born small and pale, barely moving, barely breathing. Sora, on the other hand, was active and loud, a baby large enough that the tribe often questioned how their mother had managed to carry Sora, let alone the both of them.

They would've declared Roxas a stillborn (dead before he'd even had a chance, and maybe that would've been a good thing), but Sora had stopped crying long enough to reach over and touch Roxas's hand, big blue eyes sad and curious—his sticky hands are already gifted with Avatar spirit, they'd said later, what a talented precious Avatar we have.

Sora's touch stirred _something_ that made Roxas open his eyes and begin to choke.

.

"I could feel you were sick," Sora admits. There's water in a basin by the bed, in case of an emergency (in case Roxas does something stupid again). Axel watches them both, arms crossed, standing in a corner of the room.

Roxas touches his throat and looks at Axel, then back at Sora. He thinks his face is flushed, he feels very warm still. They're back in the guest room that he and Sora are sharing. Roxas is lying in bed, and Sora is sitting at the foot of the bed, watching his brother carefully. "You could tell where I was?"

"You're like a part of me, I don't know." He laughs but it sounds sad, and Roxas hates that he's the reason Sora feels like this, that he's always the reason. "It sounds stupid, but we're twins, right? I was exploring," he glances at Axel, then shrugs, "when it suddenly got hard to breathe. And it felt like that, before." He doesn't expound on the subject, and Roxas is thankful, though he wishes Sora hadn't brought it up at all.

 _Roxas— Roxas! What did you just— You— C'mon, breathe!_

"What were you thinking, Rox?"

Roxas doesn't know what to say. He knows he can't explain any of what he's feeling to Sora, or he'll make Sora feel worse. But he doesn't like how frail his body is, and how he's being forced from doing what makes him feel like he has control over _something_. He wants Sora to be able to firebend, so he'd have something else to focus on. He wants Sora to be happy. He wants himself to be normal.

Everything in his life has felt like a mistake ever since the accident.

The rumors had only made everything worse, and Roxas isolated himself afterward. And though Sora regrets _now_ , Sora had willingly, almost gratefully, allowed it to happen _then_. No one understood.

"I'm sorry, for earlier," Roxas mumbles instead. "The, umm. . ." He feels Axel's eyes on him, and his mouth feels dry. "Before. . . I lost you."

Sora is quiet for a stretch of time, glancing at Axel. "As long as you didn't—"

"No!" Roxas exclaims quickly. Sora didn't think he'd— It's a little too quick of an exclamation, though, and he falls into a coughing fit that Sora jumps to try and heal. "I d-didn't. . ." Axel jumps to the rescue as well, heating the water with his firebending, and Sora sends the warm water down Roxas's throat to try and heal him from the inside.

Roxas is dizzy and warm all over. He hates the feeling of being healed because of how similar it is to choking to death. He hates having people waste their energy on him, when he isn't worth it. He can make out the blurry shapes of Sora and Axel, standing over him, _helping_ him, and he hates himself more.

.

When Roxas wakes up, Sora is pulling on a thin tunic and loose pants. They're bright red with black trimmings, a startlingly bright color compared to what Roxas is used to seeing Sora and himself wear. The blues and purples of the North Pole hadn't ever seemed this bright. Sora looks anxious, but he's smiling, rubbing his hands together, rocking on the balls of his feet.

"How long was I asleep?" Roxas asks with a yawn. His back hurts, probably from all the coughing the night before.

"You kind of knocked out when I was healing you."

Roxas glances at the window and can tell it's bright outside though the curtains are closed. "I feel gross," he mumbles. He doesn't have the energy to drag himself from the bed, instead rolling around a bit to better see Sora.

"Well, you did fall asleep in the clothes you fought in. Twice." Sora shakes his head and breaks eye contact. Roxas twists his hands together.

"You're heading out?"

"I'm going to start training today!" Sora is quiet for what feels like a long time. "Prince. . . Prince Axel said you could come. . ."

Roxas sits up at the sound of Axel's name, heart racing. "He did? When?"

Axel might've seen something (which would be terrible), Roxas figures logically, but he's giddy at the thought that maybe Axel saw some potential in him, that maybe Axel just wanted to be around him, to be friends. He could learn what it meant to be a bender, to wield an element the way that Axel did. Roxas would get to spend more time with him.

"After we healed you, when he was leaving, he said." Sora bites his lip. "He said you were 'an interesting fighter' and you could learn from the training."

Roxas smiles and looks downward, clenching the bed sheets in his hands. "Really?"

He wishes his voice doesn't show how excited he is, wishes it isn't always so obvious how he's feeling. But he and Sora have never been good liars, and Roxas is awful at hiding emotions from his face. (Too expressive, the people in the Tribe always said.)

His sword fighting is his way of expressing himself, since there are some things he won't do.

"How did your fight go?" Sora asks. "When I got there, your weapons were all over the place and it looked like you were hugging but. . ."

"I won." Roxas tries to think of the fight's end. He remembers falling, and Axel catching him. He remembers coughing into Axel's chest (his face heats up, and he hopes Sora isn't looking at him), and then he doesn't remember anything. He'd thought he'd heard Sora's voice, so maybe Sora had gotten there at that time. Then they'd all gone back to the guest room? He would definitely remember hugging Axel. "Did you have to drag me here?" He laughs a bit, wrings his hands.

"Oh, ummm. . ." Sora laughs a bit too. It feels awkward, and Roxas regrets asking the question despite his curiosity. "Me and Axel carried you back." Roxas's heart skips a beat. "I healed you some when we were outside and then I like. . . I carried you by your armpits and Axel had your legs, or your knees I guess? We brought you back here." Roxas wants to bury himself under the covers and never come out. Axel had _carried_ him when he'd been unconscious. His face is burning, he doesn't know how he's supposed to look at Axel properly anymore. "You're heavier than you look, Rox!"

"Spirits. . ." Roxas sinks lower into the bed. He'd made Axel _struggle_ to carry him after falling unconscious from a fight neither of them had been going full strength for. . . "Sorry."

"It's fine!" Sora exclaims quickly. "I mean, you won, right? But you haven't had an attack like that in a while."

"If I stay active, I probably won't have fits like that anymore." Roxas pulls his knees to his chest. "I haven't done anything in _months_. I still won." _And if Axel wants me there_. . .

Fighting is all he can do right now, without hurting anyone.

Sora sounds doubtful, and Roxas already knows what he's going to say. "And you're _sure_ you hadn't be—"

"I _didn't_!"

"In the office, you—"

"He would've said something, okay?" It's frustrating to constantly be accused of something he didn't do. This happened so often in the Water Tribe, Roxas had jumped at the chance to leave, at the chance to start over. It hadn't been much of a restart, though. Roxas wound up falling into the same mistakes in the Earth Kingdom. "The office was an accident."

Roxas throws the bed covers aside and gets out of bed, stomping to the adjoining bathroom. Because Sora had gotten ready before him, there's already water in the basins for him to use. It's taken him a while to get used to the different technologies of the nations, but it's always a nice change. He washes his face and hair, feeling a little better once he's no longer coated in ash and dirt.

He's in the middle of brushing his teeth when Sora pops his head in.

"I didn't mean to accuse you," he says quietly, not looking at Roxas. "I just worry."

Roxas nods before spitting out the paste from his mouth. "I know."

Some level of Roxas does appreciate that Sora cares because it used to feel like he didn't, but now it almost felt too overbearing, too overprotective, too worried. Everything that happened when he and Sora had been younger wasn't just gone from his mind; Roxas knows to be cautious. It just seems like Sora forgets that, and Roxas hates having Sora fuss over him.

"I don't want you to get hurt, Rox." It's happened before. "It's not that I want. . ."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"He really does want you to train," Sora continues. Roxas tries to pretend he's not interested in what Sora's saying, but he slows down his movements so he can hear Sora's voice, and Sora definitely notices. "You must've showed him a good fight last night."

Did he? Roxas remembers being relatively evenly matched until the end, remembers stumbling and pain and then Axel falling down. How had Axel fallen? The fight should have gone on for longer. "Do you want me to go?"

"Do you want to go?"

Neither of them says anything. Roxas thinks Sora doesn't want him to go, for a multitude of reasons maybe ending with Roxas having another fit if he strains himself too hard. Sora isn't a jealous or angry type of person (it's more Roxas's personality), but when Roxas is frustrated and upset, he knows he assumes the worst of Sora. And they'd spent so little time together growing up after the accident, Sora must assume the worst of Roxas, too.

"Yeah," he whispers after a few minutes have passed. He doesn't know anything about this, about himself. And Axel has the potential to help, since it won't go away. "I do." Sora's face falls (he probably didn't want to make it so obvious), and Roxas feels nauseous. He knows how Sora feels, he really understands. He just. . . "But, just for a little bit. Maybe, maybe I'll stop by at the end."

Sora is quiet again. "A-are you sure?"

"Hey." Roxas puts his hand on Sora's shoulder and tries to smile, but it's forced and small, and both of them know he's lying. "You need to learn firebending. . . without me distracting you."

.

Roxas wakes up under a pile of rocks and rubble, dust flying everywhere as he tries to dig himself out. The air is hot and stifling, and he holds back a cough as his eyes begin to water. "S-Sora?" He hears no response. He hears nothing.

He can't remember what happened before. He'd been brought here to help Sora into the Avatar state, but when (and _how_ ) had this happened?

Roxas coughs a little and shoves the biggest rocks away, eyes widening as he observes the fires raging around him. "So-Sora?" he chokes, lungs constricting. What remains of this earth arena is burning down, and what was once a beautiful training center for Sora is nothing more than crushed stones and ash and blood.

Blood.

Roxas fights the urge to vomit when he notices that Sora's bending instructors haven't answered him because they aren't moving, because they're under large rocks and fire, because _they're dead_. They're dead they're dead they're dead Roxas can't breathe he can't think they're dead they're dead—

.

Roxas wears one of the outfits the royal family had provided for Sora, since they're both the same size. He's wearing a black sleeveless vest and baggy black pants that come to under his knees. He doesn't have shoes to wear other than his battered boots from the North Pole, so he's wearing those. Sora had been provided nice sandals, but they hadn't thought to give him more than one pair, hadn't expected Roxas to be raiding Sora's closet so he wouldn't stand out.

He eats a little with Sora and manages to run from the kitchen before the prince comes down for his meal. He needs time to think of what to say. He doesn't want to sound like an idiot around Axel.

It's like he's back in the Earth Kingdom again, trying to figure out what to do with himself when Sora's doing his Avatar duties and he doesn't have any money or friends. It's not as much fun to go exploring without Sora, but since he needs to kill a couple hours (he doesn't even know how long Sora's first day of bending practice is going to be, how is he supposed to know when to show up) he figures he'll go around the Fire Nation city. He wonders what people his age are doing. Would he be in school, if he had been from the Fire Nation?

Roxas heads out through the front entrance, walking stiffly as he notices Sora's other bending instructors returning from their guesthouse. He doesn't want to spend any more time with them—traveling with them to the Fire Nation had been torture enough—but if he gets to watch Axel firebend again, if he gets to learn. . .

He scampers off palace grounds, nodding at the guards so they remember to let him back in later. He doesn't think Sora's tutors notice him, thankfully.

Capital City is a bit more of a walk away than Roxas remembers, but it's nice to look at. The palace is surrounded by a large plaza, and then beyond that is the residential area. The more commercial side of the city is further down, and Roxas supposes he could check that out. He can't buy anything, but he can look around at least. It's like traveling to a different world, with how different each nation is from the next.

He wonders what it'll be like when they make it to the Air Nomads. He's wanted to visit them the most, since he found out he could travel with Sora. He likes the freedom they represent, the idea of flying away.

.

Roxas bumps into a lot of people but everyone's pretty polite. The capital is bustling with people, alive with energy and chatter. The bright reds and golds of everyone's clothes are disorienting but pleasant, and Roxas decides he likes the Fire Nation enough. At least for now.

Their outfits make Roxas think of what Axel had been wearing the night before, and the more he ponders, the more he comes to realize that Axel had been out somewhere and had snuck back into the palace when he'd run into Roxas. He doesn't have any proof other than Axel hadn't been wearing sleepwear, but he still wonders.

He probably won't ask Axel about it, but if the prince is sneaking somewhere, it must be somewhere exciting. Sora would probably want to follow, and Roxas isn't opposed. Where could the prince of the Fire Nation need to go in secret? Roxas kind of wants to figure it out on his own.

He's not looking to buy anything, but the shops advertise pretty clothes and trinkets and Roxas kind of wishes he'd had the foresight to collect mementos from the nations he and Sora visit. It's interesting how here in the Fire Nation, they have places and objects to sell to guests. The North Pole doesn't get many visitors.

Some of the clothes in the shop windows make Roxas pause just to admire the designs. He wonders if the prince dresses up like this, then, blushing, forces the thought from his mind.

Finally, after wandering around for what feels like a long time, he decides that he should enter somewhere. Maybe he can find motivation or a job, maybe he can stop lazing around when Sora trains, since he probably won't be joining Sora's training with Axel no matter how much he wants to.

The next shop he sees looks promising, though it has no windows, just because the outside is designed to look like the night stars. Roxas looks around before he goes inside.

The lighting in the shop is dim, with only a few candles lit and no light coming from the door. Black curtains hang on the walls, with golden chimes and ropes and figures dangling from the ceiling. It smells of incense, and there are books and knick-knacks scattered everywhere in a way that is both disorganized and yet not, setting an atmosphere that left Roxas comfortably confused.

"Oh, hello, Avatar!" Her voice is light and breathy, a melody, a song. She stands up from her seat behind the counter. Roxas jumps a little at the sudden sight of her. "I've been expecting you!"

It's dark, but the shadowy lights of the candles are enough that Roxas can make out her blonde hair and her Airbender tattoos.

"I'm not the Avatar." Roxas frowns, glancing around. Had anyone heard her? There's no one else in this shop, thankfully. Sora and Axel are probably going through deep breathing exercises together, Roxas figures, trying to reign in his emotions. "I guess we look the same, but—"

"I'm sure," she tilts her head and smiles at him, blue eyes examining him (she's seeing right through him, it feels like she can read minds, like she already knows him), "you don't realize how important your role is going to be."

Roxas rolls his eyes. He's never been mistaken for Sora before, since his hair is much lighter and styled differently compared to Sora's. Sora has always had a certain presence, so it's clear he's the Avatar without having to state so. Talking to Sora inspires a confidence Roxas has never been able to invoke. He doesn't know whether to play along with this girl or not.

"What kind of dangers will Sora be facing, then?"

Every Avatar has had to face something that threatened the peace of the four nations, but it's always seemed peaceful. According to the papers they'd read once before, there were those small fights on the Earth Kingdom's coasts, but if small disturbances are all Sora's going to have to face, Roxas doesn't mind. Sora is excited at the thought of adventure, eager to protect, but Roxas isn't sure he wants Sora to go around fighting danger. Sora could barely handle Axel.

( _But then_ , a little voice in Roxas's head nags, _it was probably because he was weakened having to protect you_.)

"Someone's curiosity is going to get the better of him, and it's going to threaten the stability of the world." The girl looks sad, and even though Roxas is doubtful, he can't help but mirror the emotion she is expressing. "The Avatar is going to have to make a big sacrifice to have the power to bring peace."

Being the Avatar means Sora's going to have to give some things up, but what is Sora going to have to sacrifice? Roxas doesn't like the sound of this girl's predictions, and despite his doubts he can't help but wonder.

"I'm Naminé," the girl says, smiling brightly. She gathers all of her hair and brings it over her shoulder to tie with a red ribbon. "I've wanted to meet you for a while now, Avatar."

"Well, here I am," Roxas mumbles, not bothering to correct her again. He tries to smile at her, but it's irritating to be addressed as the Avatar repeatedly when he's _not_. "What were you saying earlier? About sacrifices?"

"Oh, I. . ." Naminé flushes pink. "I'm sorry, sometimes I say things without thinking, and I just wanted to make sure you _knew_. I didn't even think of how much it would hurt to hear, but it's something you should be aware of, since it's going to happen soon."

"Do you speak to the Spirits or something?" They had one of those in the North Pole, but he hadn't been very fond of Roxas. Well, that's an understatement. He'd hated Roxas and had been irrational about Roxas returning to where he belonged. Roxas had stopped visiting him after that, and he'd stopped believing in their prophecies afterward.

"I suppose you could say that."

Roxas nods, but the feeling of dread is now gone. He's thankful for that, at least. He doesn't know what Naminé means, but she's been vague enough that Roxas figures she could mean anything and nothing. Neither of them says anything, and it's kind of uncomfortable. Roxas wrings his hands together.

"I'm Roxas," he says at last, to break the silence. "I'm not the Avatar, but I'll pass on the message."

Naminé just beams at him.

Roxas feels warm and looks away, feeling awkward under Naminé's gaze. He looks around the shop and scrambles for something to say. "How much are postcards here?" he asks stupidly.

Naminé hands Roxas a postcard lying on the counter. Roxas stares at the blue arrow tattooed on her hand. He wants to ask about her, why she's here, what she thought she was doing telling him about Sora, but he refrains. "You can have this one, Avatar. No charge."

He glares at the postcard but takes it regardless. It has a picture of a Fire Nation temple on it. Maybe he and Sora can visit it, one day. "I'm not—"

"I'm sorry about everything," she says. She's not smiling anymore. "Stop by anytime, especially if you've accepted your sacrifice."

Roxas clenches his fists (but is careful not to damage the postcard). "Thanks," he grumbles, teeth gritted. He glances around the store one last time (he's not coming back, that's for sure) before starting toward the door. Then, feeling bad, because Naminé isn't a _bad_ person, she's just a little confused, he turns around and calls back, "See you, Naminé."

"Goodbye, Roxas!" She waves at him and Roxas turns away.

It's startlingly bright outside when Roxas leaves the shop, postcard in hand. Despite the strangeness of the entire encounter, Roxas likes Naminé well enough. He figures he can send the postcard to Xion, if he can find a way to send it without having to pay. Maybe the palace has some way for him to do so. He wants to ask Axel, but maybe he'll ask Sora to ask Axel, if it'll cause less trouble.

He doesn't know what time it is, but he's sure that enough time has passed so if he shows up at Sora and Axel's practice Sora won't be too hurt.

Roxas ends up taking even longer to head back, though, because he gets lost. He's sure he walked a straight path from the palace to the city, but following that path back didn't lead him to the large circular plaza surrounding the royal home. He asks a few people for directions and wanders aimlessly for what feels like forever when he finally gets back.

The guards let him back in without trouble, and Roxas heads to the area where he and Axel had fought the night before.

.

"Look at this, Roxas!" Sora stomps his feet as he gets into the proper stance, pulling his hands upward slowly but surely. At first nothing happens, and Roxas is about to make a sarcastic comment, but then the ground beneath them shakes, and a large chunk of the earth begins to rise and float at Sora's command. His grin is so bright and his excitement so contagious that Roxas can't help but smile back.

Sora shoves the rock back to the floor messily and starts earthbending pebbles around the room. "I'm an Earthbender now!"

Roxas's smile slips, and he stares at his hands, wiggling his fingers and clenching his hands into fists.

He'd wanted to learn, once. All he wants now is for the power to go away.

.

"Listen, kid," Axel drags his words lazily, and Roxas can picture Axel's face though he can't see it, "why don't you take a break?"

"I'm fine, I can _do_ this!"

"Sure."

They hadn't heard him enter, and Roxas tries to keep it that way, tiptoeing out of sight to hide behind some of the stands surrounding the place. He wants to look at Sora and Axel, he wants to see and learn, but he also doesn't want to interrupt. It sounds like they're both frustrated, and Roxas knows he came at a bad time.

"Keep your stance, and exhale slowly."

Roxas hopes that so far Axel and Sora haven't noticed him, and he hasn't seen any of Sora's other bending instructors—if they'd seen him, they would've made it pretty clear that he isn't supposed to interrupt Sora's training—so he thinks he's doing well.

"It's not working! Maybe I need to do the breathing exercises again?"

"Maybe you need to take a break."

"I can't take a break," Sora whines (Roxas knows Sora's stomping his feet), "I need to learn this."

"Well, you're angry and cranky now"—Sora makes a funny noise and Roxas snorts behind his hand—"so use that to generate fire."

"Argh! I'm _trying_ , Axel!"

Roxas hears the whooshing sounds of fire and cloth and then he hears Sora make another funny noise.

"Stop showing off! You're. . . you're just like Roxas!"

Roxas frowns and bites his lip. Sora couldn't really mean that, right? He knows he shows off sometimes, but never. . . He's never. . . He leans against the stands, sighing. He always finds a way to hurt Sora, without even trying. Sora's the Avatar, he doesn't have to (shouldn't have to) deal with this.

Roxas hears loud footsteps, and then the door slams. Sora is gone.

He wants to get up and run after Sora, but he knows from experience that now wouldn't be a good time to try and talk to Sora. (Only Kairi can get Sora out of moods like this. Roxas should have asked her how to help Sora when he'd had the chance.) He doesn't know where Sora went, either. Roxas feels like a failure of a brother.

"You can stop hiding now, Roxas."

Roxas stops breathing. He can't have heard that right, but he knows the way his name sounds when Axel says it (he's so pathetic, and he knows it, it's only been a day and Axel's had such an impression on him, it's disgusting, Roxas is pitiful). He doesn't move.

"I saw you come in," Axel continues. "Let's talk."

 _Shit_. He probably wants to talk about the night before and Roxas's failing body (how he sometimes feels like his spirit is being torn from his body through his mouth), or maybe he wants to talk about why Sora can't firebend and how Roxas should help fix it. Coming to Sora's bending practice was a bad idea. Roxas really wants to see Axel firebend again, though. He thinks he wants to learn, too.

"Okay," Roxas says, not loud enough for Axel to hear. He walks around the stands he's been hiding behind, until he can see Axel. Axel doesn't look to be tired from training Sora. He looks a little irritated, but he's smirking at Roxas (Roxas tries not to look because he'll blush red and Axel will notice). He is wearing dark red with black buttons and trimmings, a form-fitting outfit that shows off enough that Roxas can't stare for too long.

Roxas doesn't know what would be less weird for him to do to talk to Axel, and he starts walking toward Axel, then stops and goes to sit in the arena seats.

Axel laughs and walks over, Roxas looks away immediately.

"Sora's never been able to firebend before," Roxas mumbles without thinking. He's annoyed at Sora, but it's not Sora's fault, it's his own. He's staring at his hands, but he feels Axel's eyes on him, so he looks up. Axel's shadow covers him entirely.

"Oh?" Axel smiles at him, and Roxas smiles back a bit hesitantly, cheeks turning pink. "Never?"

"I, I heard it's hard to learn your opposite element," Roxas says quickly, defensively. He hates that he says it—Sora's going to hate him if he finds out that Roxas is blurting his secrets. But he can't talk properly around Axel, the words either gush out without his control or they don't come at all. He hates himself for talking and clenches his fists. They're starting to feel hot. "Since Sora's water, maybe. . ."

"Fire's an emotional element," Axel says. He doesn't sound like he believes Roxas. He sounds like he's taunting Roxas instead. "Sora might not be in the right mindset for this."

"What kinds of emotions? Sora's not. . ." This time Roxas stops himself from saying too much. Axel doesn't need to know everything about Sora.

(And part of him might not be asking for Sora.)

"Hmmm, anger works really well. I'm guessing the Avatar isn't the angry type, though." Axel plops down onto the seat next to Roxas. "Being really happy can make fire too. Pride, need, nothing's set."

Roxas thinks about this. Anger and fear and desperation are things Roxas has felt often, has Sora felt the same? Sora does have a lot to deal with, he always has, especially with Roxas as a brother. Maybe. . . maybe he's never been ready to control fire, maybe he's never lost control of his emotions the way Roxas has, maybe Roxas really didn't steal—

"What're you thinking about, _Roxas_?"

"Huh?" Hearing his name from Axel always makes his heart pick up in speed. Roxas frowns; he shouldn't get lost in his thoughts when he's in the middle of a conversation. "How'd you learn to firebend, then?"

"I'm just a natural." Axel leans back a little, putting his weight on his hands.

" _Sure_."

Axel's attitude is enough to make Roxas feel calmer, and he unclenches his fists, loses the anger that had been bubbling inside him.

"You caught me. My brother used to torture me when I was little, and one day I got really mad at him I burnt off half his hair."

Roxas starts to laugh, and he laughs until Axel starts laughing with him, and then they're both leaning on each other for support. Axel is very warm, but Roxas is comfortable. "No happy fire stories?"

"I was a child, then, much like _you_ "—"Hey!" Roxas isn't a child, he's a mature _teenager_ —"but I was trying to show off to this girl I liked." Axel snickers, though Roxas feels strangely empty at those words.

"Yeah?"

"I kind of set her dress on fire. I think Larxene was okay with it though, it gave her a chance to show how you're supposed to bend lightning."

"You can bend _lightning_?" Axel must be an amazing Firebender.

"I'll teach you," Axel looks at Roxas pointedly, "if you show up to these training sessions _on time_."

Roxas flushes under Axel's stare. What did Axel mean by teaching Roxas? Roxas can't learn. "I didn't want to bother you."

"You could never bother me."

Roxas's face turns red, he just knows it based on how warm he's feeling, and he looks at his hands again, twiddling his fingers. At least he's not doing anything beyond his control now. They're quiet for a while.

"So, no bending stories from you?"

"I. . ." Roxas tries to pretend Axel's words haven't dampened his mood. He knows he's a bad liar, though, and Axel notices right away. He thinks back to when he and Sora were little, when they'd been in the canoeing accident, when the Tribe had begun to ostracize them, and then just him when they realized it had been Roxas's fault entirely. None of Sora's stories are funny. None of Roxas's stories are funny. "No."

"You're not a Waterbender?" Axel doesn't sound like he cares about the question, and Roxas doesn't feel like wondering why.

"Sora's. . . Sora's enough of a bender for the both of us, don't you think?"

Axel pulls Roxas into a half hug—Roxas stops breathing for a moment, Axel's willingly _touching_ him, they're basically hugging, they're acting like _friends_ —and whispers, "Well, you're the better swordfighter, Roxas. You're more gifted than you think."

 _It's not a gift, Axel_.

.

They're all looking at him funny. They're glaring at him, hiding from him. He hears them muttering, but he doesn't know what they're saying. Ever since the accident, ever since they'd explained what happened, people have been avoiding them. Avoiding him. Roxas wants to talk to Sora, but he's learning how to waterbend and Roxas isn't allowed there. He isn't really allowed anywhere. He understands, but he doesn't want to.

He doesn't know what to do. Sora is all he has left, and Sora isn't even around anymore so Roxas doesn't know who to talk to. Sometimes it feels like Sora hates him too. Roxas bites his lip and stares at his boots until his vision blurs. It's not like he could blame Sora for feeling that way.

He misses his parents, he misses having people around, he misses being loved.

Roxas wants all this to go away. He shouldn't have ever been jealous of Sora, he shouldn't have ever gotten into that fight, he shouldn't have—

He's so alone.

* * *

 **Notes** :

Thank you again to _Dragon Silhouette_ and to _Bumi_! I've been a little busy with rotations and work, but it makes my days to hear your thoughts on this fic. Your words mean so much to me, and I always reread them to keep me motivated to write. :) I hope everyone who's reading is enjoying this world, and I hope to one day hear your opinions about it too.

The consensus seems like the first chapter was better than the last because of the world exploration, and I know not a lot happened in this chapter, but there's a lot of foreshadowing here for things that're going to be revealed in the next few chapters. Roxas's path to self-discovery is taking him a lot longer than he'd like, but he's meeting some cool people along the way (hinthint)!

I hope you'll be here to read!


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